The Human Burrito

1:48am, I'm in bed, I feel uncomfortable, something is wrong. Is it the cat sleeping on my foot? Or the other cat sleeping with his chin on my head? I feel a chill along my back. Why am I so cold? I feel around with my hand....NO SHEETS! I'm completely exposed.

I turn around, waking both cats, making them get up and off the bed onto another sleeping destination. I open my eyes. I can barely make out what I am seeing in the dark. It is a large mass, about 6'3" in length, and from it, a sounds escapes - the sound of a snow plow digging it's way through cement.

It takes a moment for it all to register. I am looking at Alex, wrapped in our sheet AND comforter like a burrito, snoring away as he peacefully, and uninterrupted, sleeps through my discomfort. I sigh and begin Operation Night Time Cover Recon.

I tip/push Alex to his right side with my left hand while quickly pulling out what is rightfully my end of the covers with my right. Then in the same motion, I continue to pull on my end of the covers over to my left side, therefore, rocking Alex onto his back.

He barely stirs. I place the cover evenly over him and evenly over me. But wait....the misery doesn't end....the covers are soaked! He's sweated through the sheets!

Alex sleeps on the side of the bed that faces our window which can get cold. We have an electric portable heater in our bedroom which Alex turns on 'high' before getting into bed.

I admit when I first get into bed, the sheets and mattress and pillows are cold, so therefore I feel cold. But after a few minutes, I'm as snug as a bug as things warm up to a comfortable zone.

We all have a guage in our body to let us know when we're hot, or cold....but I strongly believe Alex's guage is defective.

Alex complains that he is cold. What I don't understand is why I wake up in the middle of the night almost every night to find him wrapped in ALL the covers like a burrito, even though he's sweating like he'd just ran the marathon!

So when I get the covers back, it's not the snuggly, warm, comfortable cover I'm expecting. Instead it feels like an extra humid August day in Chicago after a rain. I'm forced to use whatever square inch of non-sweaty cover to place over myself and attempt to fall back to sleep.