The Annoying One-Upper

In everyone's professional life, there is that one person whom all other co-worker's are measured against, whether that is good or bad.

In this case, I can't really call it a good or bad co-worker, but more the annoying co-worker. And I think those who are annoying are the worst of them all. I can handle a mean, cranky, deliriously grouchy monkey of a person....you just avoid this person and for the most part, this person will avoid you too.

However, the annoying person is someone whom you cannot escape...you will have to hear every one of their innane comments, stories, opinions...etc. on every single subject they deem important.

For instance - I am not a collector of furniture made out of wicker. This doesn't stop the annoying co-worker from bringing in pictures of he 'antique' wicker plant holder/furniture to show me. There are many problems with this....

1) There is no such thing as 'antique' wicker - they are either old or new...IT'S WICKER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
2) Wicker is not REAL furniture
3) Plant holders are NOT furniture
4) I made myself clear to this co-worker I know nothing, have no interest, and do not know anyone who would pay real money to buy what she considered 'antique' wicker furniture/plant holder.

This co-worker also insists on discussing her views/ideas/beliefs related to homeopathic cures for common colds, headaches, sleepiness...etc.

I take an advil when I have a headache. But I do not push or advertise or rant on my soap box my preference(s) in ridding myself of headaches.

Also, I can never just make a comment about ANYTHING without having to endure her life time experience on whatever the subject matter happens to be at that time - what ever it is that I've had, she's had worse. If I found a great sale on something, she's done better! This Annoying co-worker has now turned into the 'One-Upper'....you know who they are.....they've always got a story 10 times more horrific, fantastic, mystic, or just plain better than the one you've just shared with people (even if the One-Upper wasn't the intended listener to your stories). If you had a niece/nephew who caught a strange or terrible cold, they've seen worse, and they proceed to tell you FROM THE BEGINNING on how that illness came about for themselves or their kids/niece/nephew. Argh!

There are many shared moments between my boss and I where we are looking at each other with the equal amount of pain and pure exhaustion from having listened to this person's rant all day on just about everything under the sun.

Today, I finally pulled my CD holder out of my car to bring up to my desk...so I can attempt to drown out what I don't want or need to hear.

The Stork Project

I guess it's been quite apparent to those who spend enough time around me to notice something....I'm nesting.

I have this sudden urge to clean, to clear out, to re-arrange...etc. It's enough to give me goose bumps with joy and glee!

When I thought about my new tendencies, I realized this isn't something that just came over me out of blue...it's been steadily gaining power and control over me.

It all started when Alex and I moved into our condo two years ago. It started with painting the walls a warm, comfy cozy color, then getting matching comfy, cozy duvets for the comforter, then actually making homemade meals, then buying a sturdy, roomy, child seat friendly car, quit smoking....and on and on the list goes.

Very sneakly of mother nature to creep up on you, little by little, one task after another, making it seem like nothing to the person actually completing the tasks.

Baby Jake

EJ had her baby Friday morning - 11:25am, Jacob Tae Young Buzzard was born by C-section, and welcomed by ecstatic parents, family and friends.

He's beautiful...really. He's got one dimple on his right cheek, squeaks before he cries, and when he does cry, boy, does he have a set of lungs on him! Jeesh!

He's also a big baby...8lbs. 8oz., 21 inches long. He'll play football I think.

Alex and I have wanted to venture down parenthood lane for a while now, but seeing baby Jake cuddled warm and safe in his parents' arms makes us wish we started earlier!

At the End of the Universe is a Place....

Work has been quite stressful lately, so to get my bearings back and release some stress, I went to the one place I knew I'd be understood, welcomed, and encouraged to be myself...I went to the mall.

I had always found peace there, a kind of spiritual reward as I took in the first breath of recirculated mall air. Memories are indeed connected to sense of smell.

Shoes, purses, Starbuck's, J.Crew, Ann Taylor, the Field's cosmetic's counter, and last but not least, Sephora, oh my!

I had not been to the mall, shopping for myself, in what seemed like ages! It was good to be back, by myself, without having to consider stores someone else wanted to venture to, without having to watch how much time I spent in one store, over one area, over one pair of jeans...etc. It was just me...imagine what a 6 year old would feel at Disney World, having the park mostly to herself (the mall was not at all crowded) and multiply that by a 100 times...that was me!

"I'm BACK!" I thought and immediately headed to my favorite stores. This is where things get depressing. The Gap must be pandering to 10 year olds. EVERYTHING was 'Ultra Low Rise'. What?!?! Why bother wearing pants at all if you're gonna wear it THAT low!? I picked up some sweaters that initially looked cute when nicely folded and stacked on the display tables...but when I reached out for a size 'L' and unfolded the sweater...OMG, it could not have been more than an 'M' at best. I moved onto the jeans...the Gap always has good, affordable jeans that fit me. Not today.

They've changed their jeans! Instead of the gazillion style of Gap jeans I'm used to (low rise, boot cut, reverse fit, original, slim fit...etc), they now only have 3 types of jeans. Curvy. Original. Straight.

Curvy - these are for normal women who actually HAVE hips. I do not.
Original - these might as well be called the 'mom' jeans. I'm not into super low rise jeans or anything, but these buttons came up over the belly button!
Straight - Ultra Low Rise...enough said.

I stopped in at J.Crew, tried on four pants...Ultra Low Rise...funny, they didn't seem so low hanging on the rack.

On my way out, I spotted two teenage girls walking side by side, both on their cell phones, toting Express shopping bags, wearing the ultra low rise jeans which showed off their tight abs which were barely covered by what seemed like half sized hoodies they wore as a shirt. Also they were wearing way too much make-up...is blue eye shadow and sparkle lip gloss back? Gak!!!

I stopped in at Sephora...I always find something there! I love lingering by the perfume area and test everything (on the test strips of course)! Bulgari, Kenzo, Gucci, Versace, Dolce & Gabana, and a curious scent from Stella McCartney...which I decided I liked, but was way too expensive, would rather buy something for the house instead, like groceries, and...WAIT A MINUTE! Oh my gosh, was that like a mature thought?

I realized something....not only could you take the girl out of the mall...but you COULD ALSO take the mall out of the girl! All signs pointed to...the place at the end of the Universe!

I left the mall with only one purchase...grey herring bone dress pants for work. Ack!!!

Victrola

Eebee-jeebee's

Hives! Hives! Hives!

Had them all over my torso yesterday afternoon. I was reacting to some kind of allergy!

After a call to my doctor's office and consideration of what I'd done, eaten, and wore yesterday, there were two possible culprits - my turtleneck or my Wellbutrin pills.

Considering I've been taking the Wellbutrin pills for over three weeks, I feel safe in letting that go as a cause for my reaction. If I were allergic to anything in it to the extent of how my body reacted to it yesterday, it would have happened within the first few days of taking the full dosage.

I'm afrad it may just have been the turtleneck I wore yesterday. It had been sitting on my closet shelf since early March of this year. I can't remember whether I washed it before putting it away for the season or not. What horrible things are living in my closet? But if it was something in the closet, and it had gotten to my turtleneck, wouldn't it have gotten everything else in my closet too? I've worn other things from my closet on a regular basis.

So then is it localized to my turtleneck? Doesn't make much sense, but to be safe, I am dry cleaning/laundering everything on that shelf. I am also cleaning it out! I still have a ton more stuff to give away or just toss.

I will be on antihistamines for the next couple of days while continuing to take Wellbutrin. On the third day, I was told to stop taking the antihistamine and only take Wellbutrin. If the hives come back at that point, we can follow the direction that it may be Wellbutrin that is causing my reaction and come up with a resolution. If the hives do not come back, then indeed it was my turtleneck.

It's all kind of gross to think about something getting on my turtlenecks and causing hives on me! Yuck!

Cat Cage

Nellie and Newt continue their on again, off again peace talks in Maidy-land.
















Ambassador Ellie from the Roxbury Estate, shortly after crossing the DMZ to help with peace talks.
















The Ambassador making progress.

Day 6

Oh my gosh, I'm on day 6 of the no smoking business. Honestly, I didn't think I'd make it through day 1! Something to be said about the happy pills my doctor gave me.

My attempt to quit somking cold turkey last time was horrible. I'm a pretty cranky person as it is (just ask my family and friends), but to have the added the stress of quitting cigarettes made me psychotic.

Alex and I were at Panera, grabbing dinner. The girl who prepared my tray of smoked turkey on wheat and cup of soup did a sloppy job. When we reached our table, I looked down at my tray and realized the soup had gotten all over the sandwich, the napkins, the utensils, everything! Alex asked if I wanted a new tray altogether. I said no, but he did insist on getting me new utensils and napkins. I complained and whined throughout dinner. Then suddenly I snapped at him...."stop looking at my sandwich!" It was all too much. I picked up a pack of cigarettes on the way home and was back to normal soon thereafter.

This time around, I feel different. Maybe it's the pills, maybe it's because I have a different goal in mind other than quitting just the for quitting sake. I'm glad I've hung on this long. But the stakes become bigger and bigger the longer you go without one. Going one day before giving in and lighting up is one thing, but let's say you go an entire month and in a moment of weakness, light up again. That's a bigger waste of time and effort. The pressure of maintaining one's non-smoking decision looms heavier and heavier over one's head.

And about becoming a non-smoker/ex-smoker...this is something I will spend quite a bit of time trying to get used to. I still can't believe I've made it through a week.

It felt weird getting into my car and driving to work this Monday. This is when I usually have a smoke. It felt weird after my lunch while I sat at my desk instead of being outside for an after lunch smoke. I had to put gas in my car today. It was weird being at the gas station and only filling up on gas and not walking into the station for a pack of smokes.

So how have I been filling my time instead of smoking? I clean more. I cook more. And once I finally get rid of this cold, I'll be running again. I wonder how much better I will feel during my next run. Hehehe.

Ellie's Gift

May God have mercy on my soul....Ellie gave me a cold over the weekend while she was over.

Sinuses still clogged, nose hurting from blowing it too much, and now, it appears my voice may go away as well. Sigh.

Good-bye to an old friend

Not many people think of a pack of cigarettes as their 'friend', but I certainly did...for many years now. It's seen me through three serious relationships, three cars, three schools, five jobs, and four homes.

Today, I said good-bye to this friend. The remaining cigarettes, as well as the lighter were tossed into the trash.

An immense amount of anxiety and fear set in. The real possibility of failing, with or without the pills my doctor gave me to help me quit, sunk into the pit of my stomach like a 200 pound rock.

Was I cut out for this non-smoking business? It seemed to me that you are 'meant' to be a smoker, or non-smoker...kind of like you either love golf or see absolutely no point in the activity (no, it's not a sport), or Coke vs. Pepsi. I always saw myself as a smoker.

But as my life changed dramatically this year, I began to see myself fulfilling other roles other than a smoker. First and foremost, I saw myself being a mother.

But even that wonderful prospect did not manage to erase the doubts. I could feel a panic, a kind of screaming brewing from deep within and making it's way up through my throat.

What would I do during my commute into work tomorrow? What would I do after the stressful daily conference call? What will I do after lunch? What will I do around 3pm when I need to break up the afternoon? How else would I reward myself while driving home after work? What would I do after dinner? What would I do right before bed time?

Man! Had I really incorporated cigarettes into every aspect of my day? Every single event, task, or passage of time in my day included a cigarette. I'd adjusted my route home from work to fit picking up a pack of cigarettes, I'd endured rain, snow and Chicago winters coming into my car to have a smoke on my way to work or back home even when my fingers turned blue from the cold or pruny from the rain water. I'd endured terrible chest colds every November-a result of smoking.

I had to work very hard to manage my finances every month, however I'd easily manage to budget enough to buy a pack of cigarettes. RIDICULOUS. It had to end.

So, for taking preventative measures physically, I will be munching on carrot sticks for a while, and taking the pills my doctor prescribed for me. Mentally, I will be thinking about all the irritating and annoying things I had to endure as a smoker. I will also be thinking of baby names.

Will I cheat? will I give in? Only time will tell. I have to think in terms of taking it hour by hour, sucking up as much support as I can from my friends and family, telling everyone at work, and lastly, keep my eyes on the prize...motherhood.

Also, I have a funny picture of Alex I will be taking to work with me...to look at when I start feeling anxious. The picture makes me laugh and is a great distraction (recently he went to get his hair cut, and the stylist cut his bangs un-evenly).