Week 3

I am surrounded by breast pump accessories, bottles, bottle brushes, diapers, onesies, socks, and more diapers.

Life with Ben so far as been as expected and then not so expected. I knew being with a newborn again was going to be tough...sleepless nights were a must and frequent diapers changes and adhering to Ben's schedule was expected.

What I did not expect was the intensity of fatigue and the marathon pace the 2nd time around would be.

Like most first time 2nd time parents, I thought it would be easier, calmer, less frantic because we'd gone through all the craziness before. What I did not take into calculation was that before, it was just one baby and us.

This time around, not only do we have a newborn to contend with, but with a very active toddler.

We are doing our best to make sure Jack does not feel neglected in any way. He had Grandma, Grannie and Granpa to occupy him the past two weeks and he enjoyed every minute of it. Jack has been very good about being around Ben as well. He kisses Ben on the head, arm, and hand whenever he can, and says good-morning to him every day.

I have also been fortunate that Ben is not a screamer, and Jack doesn't seem to be bothered by the cries when there is noise, so I am very thankful for that. I hope Ben stays this way...Jack wasn't a loud baby either, so if Ben stays on course, this means we have another easy going baby in Ben.

I try to get showers whenever I can just so that I still feel a part of the world. Something happens to a person when they hang out in pajamas, or in my case nursing gown 24-7. One day seems to melt right into the next and you don't feel productive, even though you're pumping, feeding, changing, burping, cooking, cleaning...etc.

Oh, and that's another thing. I will definitely appreciate Sam's help when she is here next week. I need all the help I can get washing bottles, planning meals, keeping the house clean - though people including Alex, have told me not to worry about the housework so much and that keeping a house clean with a 21 month old and a newborn is impossible anyway.

For me, cleaning the house is keep my sanity and peace of mind. I can't live in a space that is unorganized and sloppy, for me, it just adds stress, especially since our space is limited to about 800 square feet total. Gads.

We hope my mother's place will sell quickly so our family can move onto a bigger place where Ben has a room of his own and does not have to room with mommy and daddy in the near future.

I have to call the breastfeeding hotline today but have not had a chance to all day yet (it is now 2pm). I will have to wait till the next time Ben is down for a nap to make that call. He has a sever case of nipple confusion. He hates the breast. Sigh. But I continue to pump with my newly purchased breast pump which I might add works better than the hospital grade pump we rented for two weeks.

Okay, Ben is getting restless, need to tend to the Banji-Mon.