He Doesn't Believe Me

I am not a big fan of tolerance or suffering on behalf of anyone or any thing.

We've only had two kids in the house for three months and I am already dreaming about a vacation of our own - just me and Alex - no kids, no diapers, no potty training, no bottles, and certainly being able to eat a hot meal the minute it is served without having to wipe someone's hands or face every two minutes or picking up something from the floor.

I told Alex as much, but he seems to be under the impression I am dreaming of such a vacation from the kids because this is the 'hard' time (as he calls it) and because I am still relatively new to having two kids in the house.

What my dear husband doesn't realize is that I am totally and completely being serious about wanting a vacation. He said it would be five years from now before we could even think about taking a vacation alone.

Five years from now the boys will be old enough where I will WANT to take them on vacation with me so that they can share in the experience. But right now, when their world is still somewhat smaller and limited due to their age, I'd like to set my feet down in a different place just for a while - alone.

I'd just need 3-4 days. He said we'd be lucky to get 2 days. Maybe he's right. Maybe from this point on it is useless to dream of such luxuries. Maybe I'm stupid for even thinking it could be possible.

I feel an immense pressure to act and think what is expected of me as a 'mother'.
But who wrote THAT book? And must I follow that? Does motherhood mean not wanting a vacation from the kids - ever? And does that mean I am a bad mother or evil becuase I thought it? What's the ettiquette for that? What is the proper amount of time that is deemed proper for a mother to voice that she would like a vacation from the kids without fear of judgment?