Tuesday, August 19, 2008

I love my boys....really, I do!

Sometimes I still can't believe it. I am a mother of two.
It seems like just yesterday when Alex and I moved into this house we're in now - just the two of us, trying out new recipes, kicking back and watching all our favorite shows, having time to blog, sleeping through the night...and weekends were just more hours to fill with movies, seeing our friends, running errands, and oh yeah...sleeping in!

I dream about those days now and wonder why we didn't get more done!

These days, I'm lucky if I get a shower in during the day and Alex is lucky if he gets to watch one of his favorite shows on TV. We both have talked about what it would be like if we could just have one weekend, one day without the boys, where we could just sleep in...then we asked ourselves, would we be able to sleep past 6 or 7am on a Saturday? Would we automatically wake up during those hours anyways just as Jack has trained us to do?

When it was just Jack, Alex and I would ask ourselves from time to time "what in the world did we ever do with our time before we had Jack? This is so much fun!"

Now that we have two, Alex and I have asked ourselves "what would we do if we had just one day to ourselves?"

Don't get me wrong - we love our boys and having two kids was definitely what we wanted all along. We just never realized how much harder managing two kids 21 months apart would be in a tiny two bedroom condo.

Initially I rejected the hardship and kept wondering why Ben wouldn't sleep well like Jack did eight weeks into life and why the house was a mess on a daily basis, and why we were spending so much on groceries every week.

But now I think I am a point where I have resigned to the fact that I will never get enough sleep, weekend shopping excursions will be limited to Jewel and Target, and the house will not be clean or contain unstained, neat, unbroken things for at least the next 18 years.

My OCD (my needs) will just have to wait the next two decades while we try to raise two beautiful boys.

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