OUT of shape

We have a road trip to Florida coming up in May.
I am really looking forward to it as it will test our boys' ability to travel long distances in the car without driving the parents and gomoh nuts.

Really, I'm not afraid to endure the slings and arrows of kid tantrums, and gas station poopy diaper changes (we've already done this with Jack - shady, tiny, smelly gas station in Florida on a hot, humid day). Diapers get changed and then it's over. Tantrums come and then they go (with the help of lollipops).

What I'm really afraid of is not being able to look at myself in the mirror a few weeks from now (I think it's down to eight now) and be happy with the way I look. I am terribly out of shape. I look at myself sideways and I look about 5-6 months pregnant. It's sad really considering Ben is 9 months old. I still have one pair of maternity jeans I keep as a safety net (which is quite often these days).

I can physically FEEL the extra weight on me and what it's done to my mobility, mood, and mental state.

Mobility - I'm not as limber, or as quick as I used to be. It takes an extra 4-7 seconds to get up onto my feel from a sitting position from my livingroom floor. My feet hurt after a considerable walk because there's more weight being distributed. My shoe size has not changed, so basically my feet are trying to support someome who is 50 pounds heavier. Gads. My stomach gets in the way when I tie my gym shoes, put on socks, or when I bend over to pick up toys from the floor. I feel my face turning red.

Mood - it makes me feel lazy when I'm this fat. 'Nuff said.

Mental State - I've been calculating how much weight would be possible to take off safely in eight weeks. It's depressing how slow weight loss can be. I've been working at the gym at the office and I've not made any progress relative to numbers. I realized that age is a factor in how quickly I can shed pounds/fat now. When I was in my 20's I could shed mind boggling amount of weight in a week's time. My body seems to be working against me now.

We were at the playground near my house over the weekend. I was on the see-saw for only a few minutes. My quads hurt. Sigh. Then I was sore all weekend long. Sigh.