Saturday, August 13, 2005

Wardrobe Malfunction

The Belly turns two on the 15th. Her party is tomorrow afternoon. Alex and I went gift shopping. We make our usual visit to Baby Gap/ Gap Kids.

We browse around for a few minutes. Nothing catches my eye. Alex points out a really cute top on display. I grab it and take a look. Initally, I wasn't so thrilled about the color, but after a few minutes, I could totally picture the top on Ellie and looking really cute and original!

"Alex! Good eye, this top is cute!" I tell him holding the item in front of me at eye level.
"Thanks sweetie, but it's not a top. It's a dress." he says with much confidence.

I stare at him, my eyes emoting something to the effect of, "are you kidding me? did your brain just shrink?" Instead, I said, "What are you talking about?"
"It's meant to be worn as a summer dress, to come down just above her knees." he explains calmly and totally straight faced.

I started laughing at him. "You are such a dork, this is a top. The bottom of this SHIRT will hit an inch below the top of her diaper."
"You're the dork, that's a dress." he insisted.

I funble with the top to examine the tag, in search for anything that would confirm the article in my hand is indeed a top. The tag/label gave away nohting. I sigh, shake my head at Alex and start walking to another display area. I'd decided I wasn't going to have an 'uncomfortable couple' moment at the Gap over an opinion of his that was cleary a gross oversight. I decide to let it go. I decide that the day Ellie wears this TOP, he will realize his error.

"Fine, let's go ask the sales clerk about it." he said, unwilling to let it go.
"No, I'm not gonna look stupid asking the sales clerk if this is a top or a dress, when it is totally obvious that it is a top."
"Go ask...you afraid I'm right?" he pressed.

I can't help it. I love proving him wrong. I decide to ask.

"Excuse me..." I say to the clerk, then look back at Alex who is now standing five steps behind me because he can already sense the situation will not be in his favor. "Is this a top or a dress? 'Cause for some reason, he thinks this is a dress, and I've been telling him this is so obviously a top."

The sales clerk smiled. She grinned in Alex's direction with pity. "Yeah, that's a top."

I make a gloating remark (something along the lines of, 'I told you, I'm right, I'm always right') as we walk away from the sales clerk who now can't stop laughing.

I look forward to the days when we have kids of our own, but God help our daughter the day Alex puts a large T-shirt on her, masking tape around the waist as a belt and sends her off to kindergarten.

Mark my words, it will happen, as inevitable as the ocean tides coming in and out, or that indigestion after Thanksgiving dinner, there will be a wardrobe malfunction authored by Alex for our kids.

2 comments:

slacker said...

Somehow, people can always tell when children have been dressed by a dad... I don't know why...

EJ said...

Make sure to take a picture of it so that you can at least have it to show your girl...hahahahaha....