Chocolate Spiral

I am a glutant. I am ashamed. I am terribly weak and it's all Alex's fault.

Alex's office decided to bring in cake and present a Target gift card to him today at work in prep. for Ben's arrival. It was a very, very, very sweet thing to do for us and we are terribly greatful. The Target card will buy one of many diaper packages we'll be using this Summer.

But the problem with this kind gesture is the cake. I love cake. But I cannot have cake! But I ate cake...actually, I dug into what was left over of the cake with my fork like some crack addict on a binge.

I'm positive the synapses in my brain became excited the second my eyes saw the cake Alex walked into the house with....now mind you, it was not his idea to bring the cake home. I'd asked him to bring me back a slice....A SLICE! But in walks Alex with half a cake! What is a girl supposed to do?

While he was walking over to the kitchen counter to set the cake down I'd already begun to imagine what the frosting would taste like....chocolate frosting, the sickeningly sweet smell of thick, gooey chocolate frosting sitting atop the chocolate and vanilla cake - yes, it was calling out to me, I recognized the familiar sound of chocolatey goodness calling out to me.

Immediately I began to think about when I would steal a ginormous portion of this cake without Jack or Alex catching me in the act. Luckily, it was Jack's bath night. Yes, I would indulge, become the glutant I'd been forced to hide for the past three weeks due to my GD while Alex was bathing Jack.

So what the heck was Alex waiting for? Why wasn't he taking Jack into the bath? Cold sweat began forming down my back. It was all I could do to feign interest in whatever the heck Alex was saying to me at that moment. In fact, I do not recall exactly what happened after he walked in with the cake to when he and Jack disappeared behind the bathroom door for the bath. It's all a blur.

Jack walked back and forth with his choo-choo, babbling something about Gordon and a doggy. Why was this dirty kid still out here trying to hold a conversation with me when there was cake to be had?

Finally, an Ah-Ha! moment. I thought of a way to get the two of them out of my way.

"Jack's diaper is full, so we need to change him now and put him in shorts, or just take it off and get him ready for his bath." I said as calmly as possible.

"Okay...you heard mommy, it's bath time!"

I'm sure Alex knew all along what I was up to, he knows me too well. The two of them eventually headed into the bathroom and I was left alone with THE CAKE.

At first, despite my desire, I took the smallest bit of cake, taking care not to have too much frosting on it if you can believe that. I mean there I was, I'd waited an agonizing 20 minutes before I was all alone with the cake and all I can do is take a tiny bite? But that's what I did. I must have believed I have super human powers or something.

Once the tiny bite entered my mouth there was no turning back. It was like eating Cool Whip all your life and one day you are served real whipped cream, fresh whipped cream, straight from the mixer, creamy and thick, so smooth and buttery.

My taste buds jumped for joy, my stomach cried out for more. I knew I shouldn't, but I did...I DIG into the center of the cake and rake out a gigantic mouthful of cake. I shove all of it in my mouth. I'm not even sure at this point where I am or who I am. I am just in love with this cake.

Well, I've already ruined my blood sugar level, there's no going back now, so I dig in for another mouthful of cake, then another, then another, then another. Whatever heaven was, this had to be it (or hell for doing something so bad that felt so good). Oh glorious chocolate! If I'd had a pitch fork I'd have used it to shove the entire thing in my big fat face.

Alas, as with all good things, even chocolate must come to an end. Mine came to an end when my legs started cramping up - this happens when I've been standing still in one position too long. Also, Ben started kicking me. And like that, as if waking from a beautiful dream my eye lids fluttered, the fork still in my mouth, and my hand still clutching the side of my cake platter.

It was nice for a while, but now I had to stop. My thoughts raced back to Ben and how his health must come first before chocolate. I put the fork down, released the cake platter and resumed making Jack's dinner.

I heard the bathroom door open and out walked Alex and Jack from the bath.

Hello, my name is Taylor, and I'm a chocoholic.