Why?

When I got home today from work, I found Alex and Jack in the livngroom, doing some tummy time. Then Alex proudly announced he'd used baby powder on Jack's bottom during the last diaper change.

Baby powder has never been a part of our diaper change routine...kind of like Butt Paste...if we don't need it, we don't use it.

So I asked why he'd used baby powder during Jack's last diaper change. Bad idea to ask such an open ended question. Sigh. My bad.

Instead of simply replying "because I felt like it." or "because I wanted to try it." his long winded response (e.g. "well, I heard when the baby's butt is red, or if they've been sitting in a wet diaper too long it's a good idea to use some baby powder during diaper changes...kind of acts like a barrier between the baby's butt and the diaper, and also...")resulted in 10 minutes more of back and forth questioning between me and Alex so that I could try to figure out if Jack had a red bottom due to being in a wet diaper too long, or if Jack's bottom had suddenly broken out in a diaper rash of some sort, or if some other kind of condition or ailment had befallen my son.

Finally, in the end, Alex replied, "it makes his butt smell nicer."

Lesson #59 - Never ask my husband a question that cannot be answered by 'yes' or 'no'.

Jack's Mom

It has been challenging being a new mom. There was so much I didn’t know, so much I don’t know still and so many more things I will discover by the process of trial and error. It scares me to death, yet at the same time it delights me to see my son growing every day, changing, becoming his own personality….he’s amazing.

I’m so glad I got to spend every day of his first 12 weeks of life…but should that be enough? The answer is clearly no. Any mother who has had to drop her child off at day care and then turn around and walk away knows the kind of pain I felt this week.

Many moms have told me that I will get used to it, that it will hurt less and less as time goes by. When I think about it, that’s the magic or in this case the indifference of time. That the passing of time could make me get ‘used to’ leaving my child with strangers is incredible to me. Should I get ‘used to’ such a thing? I think not. Time is the enemy.

I don’t have enough of it with my son. But even having to come to work wouldn’t be so hard if I knew he was home with a family member looking after him. Anyone can care for an infant, even day care centers. But receiving care vs. love are two very different things.

Care is what is given at a hospital or an animal shelter. Love is what you get from home and heart. It is most unnatural to leave my infant son to go back to work. The added worry of whether he will get enough love during the day kills me. Children don’t grow by receiving care. They grow by receiving love.

It wrecks my heart to no end….”is he being loved at day care?” the answer is inevitably a resounding “NO”. There is a reason why humans don’t have a litter of babies like in the animal kingdom. The human baby needs one on one interaction/bonding/love.

“It will get better….” Bullshit. Maybe for them it did, but I don’t have to think even for a mili-second whether it will get better for me. It will not get better. I am not a day care mom. I am a mother to my son.

Motherhood

Some thoughts since Jack's arrival:

1) Bouncer/swing after feeding = Spit Up Fest 2006 featuring Jack Maidy!
2) Always have extra burp cloths on hand
3) Burping is not optional
4) Diaper changes - baptism by pee
5) One free hand is enough to get 5 things done while feeing baby
6) Grandparents are wonderful!
7) ACCEPT help when it's offered (or you'll regret not taking it)
8) Burping is not optional
9) Nail clippers - friend or foe?
10) Date night? Yeah right!
11) Vanity - throw it out the window, you won't care
12) Coffee - heaven sent
13) Breast pumps - a very odd, odd contraption
14) Burping is not optional
15) Jack and I lose hair at the same rate
16) Yes...you CAN over bundle a baby
17) I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE the idea of day care
18) Moms are for comfort, Dads are for play (and poopy diapers)
19) Burping is not optional
20) Maternity leave is just long enough for you to feel like a mom....then go back to work! Argh!!!!
21) Motherhood is not a feeling...it is action driven by love
22) Did I mention burping is not optional?

Hiatus

I'm back!

Yes, it has been months, but I have a good excuse...a great excuse!
The Maidys have added a family member.

On 9-25-06, little Jackson Maidy arrived at 7:41am. Well, he's not so little. He was 8lbs. 10oz at birth. Jeesh! Born via C-section and for good reason too. There is no way I could have had him naturally. Yikes.

Jack is as cute as can be and makes me happy every day with hsi smiles and laughs and attempts to sit up even though he has not yet mastered holding up his head first. Hahahaha!

All the grandparents, and one great grandmother are totally in love with him, not to mention his aunts and uncles are in love with him as well.

Sorry I have not posted in a while

Being pregnant, all my attention has been put to the baby blog.

Another part of being pregnant is wondering from time to time what will happen (or not happen) to my body once Jack is born and my body is no longer hostage to his needs.

Will I be able to lose the baby weight? Will my stomach ever be the same again? Will I be able to get into a swimsuit after birth?

Besides the physical changes, I wonder about the mental and emotional changes. Up to this point, I've just been my old self. Other than a bit of teen and mid 20's angst, my identity (or at least my idea of who I am) has never been questioned or in doubt.

How about after birth? Being someone's mother is a HUGE identity change/adjustment right? I've heard mothers put this change to me in many ways...."oh you'll still be you, only better!" or "your life will be turned completely upside down as well as who you always thought you were!" and "your priorities change, therefore, you have to change." and "there is no such thing as a cool mom...by definition, moms are not cool."

Really? A cool mom doesn't exist at all? How could there be cool dads, but no cool moms?

Bare Minimum

I was stopped at a stop sign this morning to make a left onto another street.
There was a car in front of me. A gold Mercedes-Benz, 4 door, also trying to make a left.

At first I didn't pay attention to the funny shape in the driver's seat as I was too busy looking at the cross traffic.
The street we were looking to turn left on is a busy road (Golf), so we had to sit there a while before a break in traffic happned. It was this kind of 'sitting' time that bored my mind and allowed me to observe the shape of the driver's head in front of me.

Was it a woman? A man? What were those things sticking out of what looked like the driver's head? Hmmm....

When the car in front of me finally found a break in traffic and turned onto Golf, I finally saw what I was looking at.
The driver was a woman. And the funny shapes that made up the shape of her head were rollers. I couldn't believe it! From what I could tell, she was wearing a nice work blouse, make-up applied nicely too, but then what was with the rollers? Where and how was she going to take the rollers out and style her hair?!?! DId she have a salon in her Mercedes?

If I realized I was not going to have enough time to roll and style my hair before leaving the house, I would not begin to roll my hair at all.

I've seen women in their car putting on make-up via their rear view mirror on the highway and such and always kind of shook my head at them. It's dangerous, not only for other drivers, but for themselves as well (imagine poking your eye out with a mascara wand). I've heard of people going out to the mall or the grocery store in their pajamas on a regular basis and have shook my had at that too. If you're not going to make the effort to put on shirts and pants, then don't go out. It's a minimum requirement people....even McDonald's requires you have clothes AND shoes on to be served.

Relative Suffering - Compared to a goose

I have not posted here in a while. I have been sick. See the Peanut blog for details, but in one quick word - pregnancy.
The Peanut blog documents my many, many, many weeks of suffering under the spell of morning sickness due to baby.
Everything from smells, to traveling, to vomitting. I could not believe women all over the world purposely lent themselves to the condition of 1st trimester pregnancy over and over again. I think I was only 2 weeks into the morning sickness when I looked over at Alex and said, "I'm not very good at this. I don't like it. I don't know if I'll be doing it again." Yes, I am a whiner, the biggest, most annoying, most unrelenting whiner of them all (just ask Alex).

But the other day, I realized, I do not have it so bad.

Around our office property we have wild life - well, semi-wild life. We have geese. We have a male and female who mated. The female started building a nest. She could not gather enough twigs, nor any other decent nesting material so she decided to fill in the gaps between her few scraps of a twig nest with her feathers. She laid 7 eggs.

If you've been watching the news, or have stepped outside the last couple of days, you know that it's been quite windy around here. The mother goose sat on her nest deligently, protecting and incubating her eggs for as long as her hunger pangs would let her (the male goose was no where to be found....eh-hem). Eventually, she had to get up to feed. She could hold out no longer.

Wouldn't you know it, the nest of feathers blew away in the wind promptly as she got up. 3 of her eggs came spilling out of the now dismantled nest onto the ground of rocks. She had to eat. There was no way to recover feathers in the wind to rebuild or fix her broken nest. She went off to hunt.

She came back a while later, her eggs still sitting on rock, and sat back down on the 4 eggs that managed to stay together. She tried to stretch herself as wide as she could in an effort to cover the 3 that had rolled away a few inches from the bunch, but it was no use. The weather turned for the worst. The temperature dropped 15 degrees, the winds continued to howl, and then to make things worse....it began to rain on her.

When I returned to the office after the weekend, the mother was no where to be found. She had abandoned the eggs. She didn't come back once to even look at them again. At the end of the day, I saw the female goose walking around with the male again, making loud, loud noise - were they fighting over the destruction of the nest and whose fault it was? It was a 'domestic'...definitely, I could tell. It was not friendly 'quacking'.

The Human Burrito

1:48am, I'm in bed, I feel uncomfortable, something is wrong. Is it the cat sleeping on my foot? Or the other cat sleeping with his chin on my head? I feel a chill along my back. Why am I so cold? I feel around with my hand....NO SHEETS! I'm completely exposed.

I turn around, waking both cats, making them get up and off the bed onto another sleeping destination. I open my eyes. I can barely make out what I am seeing in the dark. It is a large mass, about 6'3" in length, and from it, a sounds escapes - the sound of a snow plow digging it's way through cement.

It takes a moment for it all to register. I am looking at Alex, wrapped in our sheet AND comforter like a burrito, snoring away as he peacefully, and uninterrupted, sleeps through my discomfort. I sigh and begin Operation Night Time Cover Recon.

I tip/push Alex to his right side with my left hand while quickly pulling out what is rightfully my end of the covers with my right. Then in the same motion, I continue to pull on my end of the covers over to my left side, therefore, rocking Alex onto his back.

He barely stirs. I place the cover evenly over him and evenly over me. But wait....the misery doesn't end....the covers are soaked! He's sweated through the sheets!

Alex sleeps on the side of the bed that faces our window which can get cold. We have an electric portable heater in our bedroom which Alex turns on 'high' before getting into bed.

I admit when I first get into bed, the sheets and mattress and pillows are cold, so therefore I feel cold. But after a few minutes, I'm as snug as a bug as things warm up to a comfortable zone.

We all have a guage in our body to let us know when we're hot, or cold....but I strongly believe Alex's guage is defective.

Alex complains that he is cold. What I don't understand is why I wake up in the middle of the night almost every night to find him wrapped in ALL the covers like a burrito, even though he's sweating like he'd just ran the marathon!

So when I get the covers back, it's not the snuggly, warm, comfortable cover I'm expecting. Instead it feels like an extra humid August day in Chicago after a rain. I'm forced to use whatever square inch of non-sweaty cover to place over myself and attempt to fall back to sleep.

Touching Base....

Estimated time of call: around 2:15pm
Date: 2/20/06
Participants: Ellie Belly Jelly (EBJ), E-moh (me)
Purpose: Unknown

Me: Hello?
EBJ: E-moh, hi
Me: How are you? Giggle, giggle, giggle
EBJ: Okay...giggle, giggle, giggle
me: What are you doing?
EBJ: Okay
Me: Are you watching TV?
EBJ: Yes
Me: What are you watching?
EJB: Mumble, mumble, me-meh
Me: Are you watching a movie?
EBJ: Yes
Me: Are you watching DVD?
EBJ: Yes
Me: Are you watching Little Mermaid? (cause Wany told me that's what EBJ was going to watch)
EBJ: Widdle me-meh
Me: Oh wow!
EBJ: Oh wow.
Me: Giggle, giggle, giggle
EBJ: Giggle, giggle, giggle
Me: Ellie, how old are you?
EBJ: How ol aw you?
Me: No, how old are YOU?
EBJ: I'm two.
Me: That's right! You're two! Good job!
EBJ: Okay. Widdle me-meh. Bye.

No One Told Me

I became overwhelmed by a need to eat salty popcorn at work today. Luckily, I had a 'Butter Lovers' popcorn in my desk drawer!

Two minutes later, I was eating popcorn. 7 minutes later, they were all gone. Man! I polished off an entire bag of popcorn by myself.

I sat there, in shock that I'd eaten an entire bag of popcorn by myself when something distracted me. Someone brought in pictures from our recent company bowling outting and was parading it around the office.

There were pictures of co-workers doing karaoke (at the bar in the bowling alley), there were pictures of people falling down on the bowling lane, drinking too much...etc. They were pretty hilarious. I in my usual fashion laughed my butt of at the expense of others in these photos and after about 20 minutes, when I'd had my fill of laughter, I returned to my desk to continue working.

I took a sip of water because the popcorn and all the laughing made me thirsty. As I swallow the water I notice something in my mouth....popcorn between my teeth, and not my back teeth either....but a kernel shell wedged between my 2nd and 3rd teeth in front....a spot well exposed to public view if one was to smile or laugh their butt off looking at goofy pictures of co-workers. Sigh.

I'm SURE someone saw this embarrassment. I'm SURE someone laughed THEIR butt off when they returned to their desk and shared the hilarity with their cube-mate. I'm SURE some folks exchanged a look with another thinking something along the lines of "get a load of this blockhead with an ear of corn between her teeth!"

But NO....no one told me....

Stupid Human Tricks

Our oldest cat, Nellie, has decided she'd like to be served breakfast at 2am. She struts into our room in the middle of the night and starts 'knocking' on various objects in the room.

We cover our bedroom window with plastic every winter to keep the draft at a minimum. Nellie uses it as an annoyance tool. The plastic is what she knocks/paws at with her paw. It makes such a unique and terrible noise that it even wakes up Alex, who snores like nobody's business.

Inevitably, Alex gets out of bed and feeds her because he's very tired and would like to get some sleep. Big mistake.

Nellie has trained Alex to do as she wishes, and it only took one night. The very next night, Nellie was served breakfast again promptly at 2am.

I have a New Year's resolution...to train Nellie and Alex out of their late night breakfast dance.

I used to buy underwear

I have harbored a seceret Martha Stewart inside of me. Gads!

I scoffed at scrapbooking, I poked fun of people who shopped at hobby stores, I tossed aside ANYTHING that wreaked of 'home made' or 'home spun' CRAFTS.

My sister recently blogged about wanting to be 18 again. It got me thinking about my younger days as well and how much my interests have changed! Even as recent as 5 years ago, I would NEVER have had any interest in any of the things that interest me now...

I have found myself watching quite a bit of HGTV, and Food Network.
I find decorative pillows a worthwhile investment
I bought a decorative red throw to place at the edge of the bed, just a bit askew...why? I don't know.
I sent out Christmas cards to those I had listed in the address book
I have an organized address book
I have an address file in Excel
I organized the spice cabinet
I have a spice cabinet
I worry that guests may come over and the bathroom will be messy
I worry that burglers will enter the house and steal my Dyson vacuum
I have at LEAST two kinds of jelly/preserve in the house
I am a firm believer in 4 piles of laundry - whites, mediums (this is a highly overlooked pile but a requirement for any launderer who considers him/herself experts), darks, and DRY CLEAN ONLY!

And the warm and fuzzy feelings the holiday brings each year made me put together a holiday baked goods basket which I arranged and packaged myself with cookies and other goodies I made myself.

I find all of this quite amusing and a bit alarming considering I used to go out and buy new underwear to avoid doing the laundry!

Narnia

I had such expectations for this film - I'd heard such good things about this film - could it be the next Harry Potter? Would it surpass Harry Potter? Oh, such delicious anticipation!

What a downer! Alex and I went to go see this film - actually paid $9.50 for tix to seet his film. I should have waited till it came out on DVD.

It was not at all what I'd expected. The story line felt forced, rushed, and choppy, and the actors were 'stiff' at best. Best part of the film? The animals and the White Witch. They were fortunately delightful to watch on film as they seemed three dimensional, unlike the lion, Peter, and Susan.

I've been told many times how these tales were childhood favorites for many people. From seeing the film only, I cannot imagine how and why. I will need/like to read the book. I'm sure I will completely understand how these tales became a part of childhood through the books.

As for any threats in surpassing Harry Potter - film wise, no contest! Harry Potter is much more a layered and interesting film than Narnia.

With different direction, screen writing,and editing, it could have been something wonderful!

Things I did in the car...

Yesterday, Mother Nature decided to dump a lot of snow in the Chicago land area.

This made my commute home from work not only interesting, but 3 hours long.

I made an attempt to use my time wisely/productively (because otherwise I would have gone insane, jumped out of my car, run down the length of all the other cars stuck on the road, bang on their windows furiously screaming, "If Pluto's a dog, what the hell is Goofy?!").

1) Called an old friend
2) Called Alex to complain about how I was stuck on the road
3) Listened to Charlie Brown Christmas CD twice
4) Thought about doing anything else besides being stuck on the road
5) Memorized the license plate in front of me
6) Judged Christmas decorations on other people's houses
7) Contemplated walking home
8) Read a Chapter of Steven Hawking's 'A Brief History of the Universe'
9) Contemplated what my options would be if I had to pee really bad
10) Cleaned out the inside of the armrest, side door pockets, the sunglass holder, cup holder (front and back)

I'm buying a sled and keeping it in my trunk....next time, I'm abandoning my car and going sledding for a few hours.

inconvenience

I have a zit behind my right ear...right where my glasses wrap around my ear...it is very painful when I accidentally graze it as I'm pushing my hair behind my ear...ouch. Who gets a zit right there behind your ear?!?!?!?! Stupid me, that's who.

The List

These are in no particular order, nor have they been given any particular thought as to whether someone will actually oblige me with said gift(s)...it is simply and most elegently....just a list:

1) Hugs and kisses from Ellie on Christmas Day
2) Coach purse (the one I saw at the Coach store down town during my bachlorette sleep over excursion)
3) Travel Make-up case & assorted make-up brushes from Sephora
4) Eye glass strap/holder (you know that thing you wear around your neck...librarians wear them)
5) Winter coat (J.Crew peacoat, red)
6) Oprah 20th Anniversary DVD
7) Cook books (baking!)
8) Subscription to Vogue (1 year)0
9) Savings Account
10) Facial

This Week in the News....

26 days till Christmas. Woo Hoo!

I think I may have inadvertantly agreed to play seceret santa to someone at work during the 12 days of Christmas....dag!

I love my over-sized, ugly, baggy, extremely casual flannel lined khakis from J.Crew (they are super warm).

I cannot eat till after 3pm tomorrow - getting blood drawn to check cholestrol, and was told to fast till then.

Have thought about writing again.

I have rediscovered blush.

Have thought about painting faces again, but am afraid they will stare back at me. :-)

Can hardly wait

It's that time of year....the anticipation of food, fun, and family (and in that order).

The Maidy's will be hosting Thanksgiving dinner this year and trying a couple of new/different dishes and methods of cooking. This year, I plan to help out with preparing the meal...last year was spent cleaning, my favorite past time.


The Thanks List:
Alex's pasta sauce....oh, and Alex
Ellie talk (nooooodles, moy-moy, hammer-head)
Handy brother-in-law
Funny sister
Crazy mother
J.Crew alterations
The job (yes, I mean it)
Ina Garten (Barefoot Contessa)
Clive Owen (sooo hot!)
People who don't fart in elevators
Co-workers who do not talk about their antique wicker plant holders
Flying 'stand by'
My health
Our house
Harry Potter
Nellie & Newt

Longer Than I Thought

1) Nicotine sobriety - 35 days, feels like 35 months
2) Trip to Dallas/Ft. Worth for work - was 4 days, felt like 4 weeks
3) Ellie visits - been one week, feels like forever
4) Last time I saw my in-laws - 6 months ago, feels like 6 years
5) Being married - been 6 months, feels like forever (tee hee hee)
6) The last time I fit into a size 8 jean - no, we're not going there...cause it goes along with the last time I was at the gym. Sigh.

The Annoying One-Upper

In everyone's professional life, there is that one person whom all other co-worker's are measured against, whether that is good or bad.

In this case, I can't really call it a good or bad co-worker, but more the annoying co-worker. And I think those who are annoying are the worst of them all. I can handle a mean, cranky, deliriously grouchy monkey of a person....you just avoid this person and for the most part, this person will avoid you too.

However, the annoying person is someone whom you cannot escape...you will have to hear every one of their innane comments, stories, opinions...etc. on every single subject they deem important.

For instance - I am not a collector of furniture made out of wicker. This doesn't stop the annoying co-worker from bringing in pictures of he 'antique' wicker plant holder/furniture to show me. There are many problems with this....

1) There is no such thing as 'antique' wicker - they are either old or new...IT'S WICKER FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!
2) Wicker is not REAL furniture
3) Plant holders are NOT furniture
4) I made myself clear to this co-worker I know nothing, have no interest, and do not know anyone who would pay real money to buy what she considered 'antique' wicker furniture/plant holder.

This co-worker also insists on discussing her views/ideas/beliefs related to homeopathic cures for common colds, headaches, sleepiness...etc.

I take an advil when I have a headache. But I do not push or advertise or rant on my soap box my preference(s) in ridding myself of headaches.

Also, I can never just make a comment about ANYTHING without having to endure her life time experience on whatever the subject matter happens to be at that time - what ever it is that I've had, she's had worse. If I found a great sale on something, she's done better! This Annoying co-worker has now turned into the 'One-Upper'....you know who they are.....they've always got a story 10 times more horrific, fantastic, mystic, or just plain better than the one you've just shared with people (even if the One-Upper wasn't the intended listener to your stories). If you had a niece/nephew who caught a strange or terrible cold, they've seen worse, and they proceed to tell you FROM THE BEGINNING on how that illness came about for themselves or their kids/niece/nephew. Argh!

There are many shared moments between my boss and I where we are looking at each other with the equal amount of pain and pure exhaustion from having listened to this person's rant all day on just about everything under the sun.

Today, I finally pulled my CD holder out of my car to bring up to my desk...so I can attempt to drown out what I don't want or need to hear.